Engagement Update
Greetings!
I feel rather strange writing at this time because I know for a fact that nobody even knows this blog exists! Nevertheless, I thought I would update my invisible audience of all the latest happenings, and will do so in the form of a numbered list. For fun and continuity, I have made all of the items begin with the word “The,” and have done my best to find the best Archaic expressions of the content to form the titles. Enjoy!
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1. THE DOMICILE
We have indeed found a place in which our wedding will be held, and we have thrown our hard earned wherewithal down to reserve it. Our ceremony and reception will be held at a secret location. We are planning on inviting no more than 100 people to fill the hall with love and excitement for our life to come and fill their bellies with delicious food and tasty beverages.
2. THE PORTRAITURE
Our wonderful friend Jelani Memory took some engagement photos for us that we are very excited about integrating into our Save the Date’s, Invitations and Wedding Ceremony/Reception. He did a truly terrific job.
3. THE CONCOURSE
So far, our wedding party is selected and is as follows (in alphabetic order, with exception):
Bride’s Maids:
- Katie Atkins (Maid of Honor)
- Lauren Bowen
- Elizabeth Ernst
- Beka Smith
Groom’s Men:
- Nathan Watkins (Best Man)
- Forrest Johnson
- Jelani Memory
- Chris Scott
4. THE HABILIMENTS
Habiliments is the most fancy archaic word that means clothing. I guess the most formal word you can use to describe such is “Attire,” but that word is commonly used and habiliments is much more suitable (IMO.)
As for the habiliments, Laura has found a dress! I can’t tell you what it looks like (for I do not know), but I can tell you that she didn’t get it at David’s Bridal. I’m sure you could email her and ask her what it looks like and, if she likes you, she might tell you.
As for me, I have a general idea of what I will be wearing. I have decided against the idea of wearing a tuxedo (because who likes paying $100+ for rented pants?) and am very keen on the idea of getting some sort of khaki suit, three-piece, european-cut of course. I envision a ivory colored shirt and bright orange tie. As for the gents, I’m thinking they will look daintily supportive in black or charcoal colored, two-piece, single breasted suits, with matching ivory shirts and skinny black ties. I see this monochromatic monotony in my supporters as befitting in order to make the ladies sparkle, particularly my beautiful bride.
5. THE CABINET
For our wedding night, we have booked the best room in one of the swankiest hotels in Portland, The Ace Hotel. The Ace captures a simplistic elegance while at the same time providing a rustically edgy feel, perhaps encapsulating some of the best things about Portland. They contracted local artists to come break oils on the walls giving each room it’s own individual savor and flair in the form of brilliantly clever murals. They even restored and reused most of the old rusty “garbage” scattered through the old building in an attempt to shrink down the ecological printing. I encourage you to flickr the shit out the Ace when you need some hearty distraction.
6. THE BENEFACTIONS
So far we have created a detailed registry at Bed Bath & Beyond. This process took 3 hours and was laden with free snacks and tired lower backs. I find Gift Registry to be an interesting quip of the modern American wedding. Basically, we tell you what we want and you flip the bill. To me, this seems to subvert the best things in receiving a gift from someone: the thought and process of selecting, the wrapping/unwrapping process and the look on the face of the person you give it to. If you think about it, none of these things exist within the system of registry. Nonetheless, I’ve chosen to shelve my distaste of this system because only a fool or socialist would spurn the possibly of the receiving the gifted blessing of high quality pots and pans or handmade german knives.
FYI: We are also planning on registering at Crate&Barrel, Macy*s, and Pampered Chef, Ltd. Or maybe we won’t.
7. THE PEREGRINATION
In the name of tradition, Laura and I have decided to keep from her all details surrounding our peregrination (honeymoon) until after our wedding. This puts the pressure on me to plan something fantastic (which, of course, I will) and disallows me from sharing any such information via this medium. I can, however, to a certain degree, dispel any sort of conjectural gaffes by sharing where we will NOT be going:
- We will NOT be going anywhere too cold for Laura to wear a dress at night.
- We will NOT be going anywhere so hot to raise Devin’s temperature from “Normal” to “Angry,” unless there are Toucans involved.
- We will NOT be going anywhere that overcharges honeymooners for being honeymooners, or that perpetuates its existence solely on the presence of honeymooners.
End.
